...Because this is a relationship and not a Reddit forum? Also when in the history of any relationship has that phrase ever worked out well for anyone?
(But I do indeed shut my mouth in silence for the next five minutes whilst you huff and swear and go to bed.) Welp. That was constructive. Yey.
How many times have I told you to shut the fuck up? How many times did I call you a cunt, an idiot, a fucking stupid idiot, a fucking dumb cunt, or variations on that theme? When did I even shout them in your face and tell you to leave, get out, go, fuck off — and btw you're not allowed to take any possession (including basic clothes) that I ever bought for you?
Oh yeah. Weirdly, strangely, never.
No, I take that back. Once I asked you to get out of my room. You didn't so I left and slept elsewhere instead because I was so very tired of drama by that point I didn't want to add to it.
Pretty sure 'shut up', 'oh go away!', 'idiot' and 'bastard' where the worst I have ever given across multiple arguments. Although to be fair there may have been a 'fuck off' thrown in there once or twice.
When you're tipsy, you like to talk.
In Covid times, there's not always a lot happening and not a lot to talk about.
(How was your day? Oh, I typed a bit on the computer, stayed inside and played idiot games on my phone. How about you? Yep, same really. Surprise. These are the times we live in.)
But tipsy and drunk are different. And your tipsy and drunk are different from mine.
Hell, even sober you bellowed at a cat and flung it off your lap right into a table. Flint is big enough to be okay, thank you Bast. But they knocked over my tea and some of my electronics are fucked now, but hey — you showed dominance, right? Master of the house. So that's okay?
Have you not noticed that my attracting their attention, or your squirting them with the water bottle gets them to stop a whole lot faster and with less problems? Suddenly bellowing 'OI!' in my ear startles me and gets them to look up in fear for three seconds and then they go back to being goblin chittens. In fact, when you flung Flint off of your lap and into the table? What did he do? Ran around the apartment away from you like a mad thing, and continued to be bitchy with Tiresias and was legitimately scared of you until you sat down and scritched him whilst he was being extra submissive. That sinario was not a win.
You can be wolflike with a dog — if you know about wolves. You can't be wolflike with a cat — especially ones who have had such a chequered upbringing as ours have.
Flint was both truly scared of you and hated you today. And he blamed Tiresias for what had happened. But at the same time, he wouldn't even sit on my lap. Because we are together. Because I didn't shield him from when you when you were too much. And that's on me.
Tiresias meeps — and I love her very much but I don't necessarily know what she's on about — not as clearly as I do Flint. He's like Lil. Less vocal but just as direct.
Please don't ever yeet a chitten again.
(Unless you sit on Flint by mistake and he mauls you and puts you in the hospital — that's legit I guess...)